i suck

this is me trying to sum up the last 8 months.

nevaeh: summer of my dreams. she spent most of it outside. she is one of the few children left in this world who can make worlds out of the outdoors. she walks around, talking to things, exploring, creating, pretending. i love this.

sept. arrives and with it the realization that school is now the place she will be spending half of her waking hours mon-fri. this is also true because she comes to the school i teach at (confederation park community school) and is full day everyday kindergarten.

it was a bumpy month. there were a lot of tears. there were screams and kicks and even bites.

fall of my nightmares.

but we got through it. she has grown so much and she is learning incredible amounts. she has the most unique way of learning and understanding the world- it scares me a little because as a teacher i know what people value (creativity is actually not at the top of the list). but if this crash course into kindergarten has taught me anything it is that i am my daughter's advocate. as so, i have to be fearless and shameless.

yesterday she said, "mom, i can spell book. my teacher showed me." and she did. just went ahead and spelled book. this is me fighting back tears.

naima: summer was great with her. she was so sweet and innocent. all she wanted to do was follow around nevaeh and do what she was doing. she was, and is, growing so fast and learning so much about the world around her.

feels like forever ago.

maybe because we all now live in fear of this little dictatorial tyrant who runs around the house, swinging her arm (just the one) wildly beside her and barking orders at people. she hits. she cries. she throws herself to the ground and then abhorrently names the person she feels has wronged her.

it's like living with mariah carey.

when she asks for a juice, she wants it now and goddammit if you try to bring her milk she will throw it in your face.

you laugh because you're safe in your internet world. try living it.

i suppose we're all to blame because we give in to her. all of us, and you would too. she has got to be one of the most beautiful little creatures to ever grace the earth.

don't believe me? mike took her to the drop in gymnastics program here in saskatoon a week or so ago. she goes and does her regular routine- running around wildly barking order, swinging that arm, hitting, calling people out, etc. it's a parent's nightmare. except nobody cares! nobody! instead they're mooning over her. take the mom of little johnny, an unsuspecting boy not much older than her. she cracks him in the head for no reason at all. johnny's mom turns to mike and says: "she is sooooo beautiful."

that's the diva we live with.

nevaeh&naima: might as well call them heaven and hell. nevaeh is often praised as being our angel now, mostly because she is more considerate and kind and caring than any 5 year old i've ever come across. her concern for the well being of her loved ones is palpable. she has this goodness in her that comes through like sunlight. well, i mean, i AM her mom so i'm biased but really, ask anyone who truly knows her and they will say the same. naima on the other hand...she's got an agenda. she will likely rule the world someday. one arm swinging.